"Go ye not to LiveJournal for advice...

[purpletigron]

... for they will say, "Go on the holiday.", and, "Go on the holiday!", and "Mind your mother, and go on the EFFIN' holiday, already!!!".

Seriously ... well said, akirlu, I do still feel extremely guilty for incarcerating her... Yet ... I'm starting to think that it will do both of us more good for me to go on the holiday.

Thank you, everyone! :-)

Comments

[swisstone.livejournal.com]

If your mother was the sort of person who would make herself into a martyr, insist you went on holiday and then make you feel guilty for deserting her, my advice would be different. But I've met your mother, and I don't recall her being like that at all. On the contrary, I suspect that if she feels that she's made you miss your holiday (or curtail it), she will feel guilty, which will make her feel worse, which will mean she'll take longer to get better. So, yes, I can see why you feel guilty for running off without her, but if you make her feel guilty than you'll feel guilty for making her feel guilty. So, in practical terms, you lose both ways, but if you go on holiday your mother will feel better.

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

I think you've got it surrounded...

[muninnhuginn]

I've only just got to your dilemma. I think my two penn'orth would be that you presumably know if your mother really means it when she tells you to go and if she does then that ought to relieve you of some guilt at leaving her (I speak from experience somewhat here).

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

She's slightly martyring herself, but only very slightly - mostly, she really does want me to go.

[revdode.livejournal.com]

I missed the original post and was sorry to read your news.
I'd vote holiday you may beat yourself up whatever you choose it's a hard situation to win. Being around a family member who isn't well it can be easy to lose you in the middle of all the work. A holiday can help maintain perspective something that is vital when you are trying to be a positive voice for them.

Best wishes.

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

Good point.

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

And, of course, what use are you in aiding your mother's recovery if you're utterly shattered?


Go, go, go! Send her a funny postcard and call her to say you love her, and be happy.

[supergee.livejournal.com]

Go on the holiday, already.

[vgqn.livejournal.com]

I've heard it's one of the hardest things for caregivers to do, to acknowledge that by taking care of themselves, they will be able to give better care.

So I too say, "Be a better than average caregiver and go on the holiday!"