A) Let them write down a response and then read it out.
2) Have them respond to the criticism facing away from the person issuing the criticism. Alternatively put on a mask. Sometimes the trappings of anonymity can help.
#) Let them talk as long as they can/like/need to before being responded to. Let the response be an affirmation of their feelings (I hear you say that you feel thus-and-such when I say this-and-so). Find at least three positive things to say about their response before starting to address the issues being criticized.
b) Have the person issuing the criticism be willing to say that they don't understand what the problem is, but that they are willing to accept there is a problem and that they want to work on it in more or less fraught situation. Offer hugs, but be willing to give space.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 01:05 am (UTC)2) Have them respond to the criticism facing away from the person issuing the criticism. Alternatively put on a mask. Sometimes the trappings of anonymity can help.
#) Let them talk as long as they can/like/need to before being responded to. Let the response be an affirmation of their feelings (I hear you say that you feel thus-and-such when I say this-and-so). Find at least three positive things to say about their response before starting to address the issues being criticized.
b) Have the person issuing the criticism be willing to say that they don't understand what the problem is, but that they are willing to accept there is a problem and that they want to work on it in more or less fraught situation. Offer hugs, but be willing to give space.